My family and I were rooting for the Chiefs to win on Sunday. We got our win. We also saw history in the making with Katie Sowers on the San Francisco sideline. Another, even bigger, win. And speaking of history-making women, we had two Latinas, who also happened to be over the age of 40, performing in the Superbowl halftime show. A third win…or was it?
Almost a week after the big game, our social media feeds are still abuzz - full of different opinions about the infamous show, ranging in comments full of praise and awe to shame and outrage. For this football coach, daughter of immigrants, and mom to 3 young children, I found it to be both inspiring and utterly disappointing.
The Highs…and Lows
The performance captivated people for a number of reasons. In JLo’s and Shakira’s performance, we saw pride-filled nods to Latino and American culture. Many have said the performance also made nods to the Arab world and digs at Trump’s immigration policy. When JLo’s daughter and the all-girl choir took the stage, I know I felt the hope-filled promise of an inclusive, female-led future. Aside from the beautiful Latin dancing by both performers, we got to see Shakira’s multi-talented musical abilities as she raged on the guitar and drums. I was excited to see the black and brown faces of the female dancers who took over the stage with a powerful Afro-Columbian-inspired dance. Yes, there were so many elements of diversity and female empowerment to this performance, except when it came to the same, old, tired, objectification of women thing.
It was this blatant objectification that had me shook. It was the sexism not the sex. The bending over so we, the viewer, is made to focus on one part of a woman’s body. It was the deliberate crotch shots. It was watching, for the umpteenth time, the hardly dressed female artist with a fully dressed male artist gawking approvingly at her shaking bootie. It was the pole. With all of JLo’s talents, and with a show that featured an all-girl choir, did the pole even have to make an appearance? I know, I know – the pole in recent years is something we women have tried to reclaim. I was one of the many who checked out the pole dancing classes when they were presented to us as a killer, empowering workout. But here at the halftime show, the pole was presented to us yet again as the played out male fantasy. The one significant difference was that the pole dancer was 50 instead of 20.
The Normalness of Objectification
The thing that got me most disheartened were the remarks made by some female commentators – from the professionals on NPR to the every day moms in my Facebook feed. Women of all ages, races, and socio-economic backgrounds seemed to largely agree on one constant thing. The outfits and overtly sexualized dancing were no big deal and were to be expected, especially considering who was performing. “Sex sells”, they said. “It’s the nature of the entertainment industry.” Here within lies the problem - the objectification of women being minimized - because we are simply used to it. I am not here to admonish sex or sexuality. It’s the commodification of women that perturbs me. The image of ropes around Shakira’s wrists being portrayed as sexy. It’s the overt sexual nature of performances like these that takes the sexiness right out of them. JLo and Shakira are sexy and there’s nothing wrong with that. Music is sexy. Dance is sexy. Throwing a tight spiral (to me anyway) is sexy. But when girls and boys see these same sexualized images of women again and again, what is it telling them it means to be female and male? These images have the power to shape our ideas, thoughts, feelings, and even actions.
Would dressing these performers like Amish people (as Pink recently joked about on Instagram) solve the problem? Of course not. The problem is not in the outfits as much as it’s in where the camera takes the viewer’s eye. I love seeing women running the show. Teaching girls about powerful women that overcome adversity is my jam actually. But it didn’t feel at all like JLo and Shakira were the ones running this show and the performance (as a whole anyway) is definitely not something I would use to illustrate female empowerment to the girls I teach.
It’s Not About Hating on Women (or Men)
Or Latina women for that matter. Because the degradation of women does not discriminate. It happens across all cultures. Two strong, talented, influential Latina women who overcame sexism and racism, whose cultural backgrounds are rich with tradition, music, dance, family, and pride is something to be celebrated. I’m not hating on Shakira or JLo. I’m hating on a culture that simultaneously lifts women up as it tears them down. It’s the conflicting messages that were in the performance all at once – that our greatest strength as women lies in our sexuality. Can we lift up two hard-working, successful women without also lifting them up as sex objects? Because when we see women as sex-crazed stereotypes, their power, their talents, and their message gets lost.
Props to JLo and Shakira. Yes, they look great. Consistently working out is admirable and the results – feeling and looking sexy - can be empowering, even transforming. I realize it’s in their job description to look good. They, like all of us, should be entitled to wear whatever they want. And this is exactly my point. For women, from the multi-billion, dollar diet industry to the booming plastic surgery industry, it’s always about our bodies and what they look like. So much of our worth lies in our appearance or at least that’s what we are told over and over again, starting when we are little girls.
And men, alone, are not the problem when it comes to this topic of oversexualizing women. They were raised in a culture where ideas about masculinity were and still are very narrow. We know that most men out there in the world are good guys. They are our fathers, husbands, colleagues, friends, and our brothers who care deeply about the women and girls in their lives. The objectification of women hurts them in a myriad of ways too - ways that are rarely talked about.
Adam Levine & the Cheerleader Argument
Yes, he took off his shirt during his performance and there was no uproar about it. Because Adam Levine doesn’t live in a world where men’s looks and bodies are constantly being analyzed, judged, and demeaned. And the comments about nothing being said about the scantily clad cheerleaders? Well, something should be said (and by the way, not every team has a squad.) The comparison between them and the Super Bowl halftime show’s portrayal of women is valid and worthy of critique. However, there is one major difference between the two. The cheerleaders are literally on the sideline during games. Unlike, the hyped-up halftime show, they are never a major focal point of the game. They are an afterthought. The crowd is literally looking past them to where the action lies - on the field. This speaks volumes not only to their objectification but to their purpose as a whole.
The “You didn’t have to watch it” Argument
Parents are being told that they didn’t have to watch or let their kids watch the show - as if shutting off the TV will make our kids immune to the images that were presented to them. My 11-year-old daughter, 9-year-old son, and 7-year-old daughter were watching because it was 8:30pm. And we are football fans. And we were having a Super Bowl party. And we were excited to share in the highly anticipated celebration that has become the halftime show. And I’m also the founder of a football program for little girls that teaches them about things like using their voice, inclusion, and bravery so I was particularly excited to see two strong women of color headlining this year’s show. But yeah, we didn’t have to watch. I had my reservations of course but I ended up giving in to my kids because well sometimes that happens and oh yeah, it was the Super Bowl and they were excited. And as I watched, there was no real surprise there as to what I saw. I knew what to expect when I heard who the headliners were. I knew the outfits would be what they were and the hyper-sexualization of women would be there. But I was hoping for more. In this performance, we got such incredible glimpses of what could have been. The all children choir. The beauty that is Latin culture. Women of color seen for their whole, multi-dimensional selves, rather than for just their body parts.
Changing the Narrative
To have my kids surrounding me watching the halftime show was weird for lack of a better word. I can’t stop thinking about the story that was being told to them about what it means to be female (and male). When I asked my 11-year-old daughter what she thought about the show, she said she liked the dancing but some of it was “uncomfortable” to look at. We adults have normalized so much of the sexualized images of women that they hardly shock us anymore. But, make no mistake these images shape the narrative. When boys and girls constantly see and hear women celebrated and honored and raised up for what their bodies look like (and how good women look “for their age”), our greatest asset continues to be what we look like. Our bodies become a thing to look at, to admire, to watch, and sometimes, even when you don’t have our permission – to touch. JLo and Shakira were dancing non-stop, singing (somewhat), playing instruments, commanding attention to political issues and to a culture rich with beauty and tradition. This was more than enough. That other degrading stuff? There was simply no need for it.
One of my favorite mommy bloggers made this point: “My husband pointed out the purity standards these women are being held to [and the fact that] no one is raising the standards for the number of men in the NFL who go home and beat their wives or worse. Some butt wagging and the Internet is outraged. But wife beatings are their own business. Oh the double standards.” Yes, there are double standards and we should be outraged by all of them. I find myself outraged on a regular basis with the NFL. Their response (or lack thereof) to their players’ criminal histories off the field has been atrocious. But make no mistake the “butt wagging” that has some of us fired up is deeply connected to this issue of men’s violence against women. When women being viewed as objects in performances like these are seen as insignificant, the problem that is rape culture persists. The dehumanization of a person often leads to violence against that person. Violence against women is rooted in sexism. There is sexism all around us – in commercials, movies, memes, on YouTube, in songs, in a friend’s joke, in a Coach’s “encouraging” words, on billboards, in magazines, in apps, on city buses and in Super Bowl halftime shows - and we must not overlook it. It is not some trivial, minor thing.
I am indeed holding female entertainers to a higher standard, but I’m also holding the producers of the halftime show, Roger Goodell and the NFL, its players, and all of us - students, teachers, coaches, and parents to a higher standard. I read somewhere that the league was looking to become a more culturally inclusive organization, that they are even taking a stand against sex trafficking. Perhaps having a halftime show that doesn’t demean women – at all – would be a good place to start?
Whether you loved the 2020 Super Bowl halftime show or hated it, it presented us with an opportunity. The opportunity to speak to our kids about how women (and men) are depicted in media, how men (and women) are being made to perceive those depictions, and how they compare to who men and women are in real life.